1. Montenegrin entering a cafe, sees a beautiful girl, approaches, and asks:
-What ya drink?
-What ya drink?
-Coca cola.
-Then where is it on your table???
2. Do you know how do they build motorways in Montenegro? NO?!
-They build one kilometer and then just end it with a sign “ETC.”!
3. Montenegrin couple making love. She, all messed up in excitement moans:
-Tell me something dirty!
-Your kitchen is dirty, your bathroom is dirty, and seems you haven’t had a bath for a week!
4. Do you know the name of that movie where Montenegrin works and studies???
-Science fiction!
5. A man is screaming out of the sea: -Help! –Help!
A group of Montenegrins standing on the beach:
-See, that man is drowning.
-Yeah, drowning for sure.
-And we’re standing here.
-Yeah, standing.
-Then why don’t we sit!
6. Montenegrin and Japanese floating in a boat, enjoying it, but in one moment the hit a ridge.
-Oh, crap, what shall we do?-cried out Japanese and jumped into the water.
-Oh, shit, look at him, he would always do something!
7. Montenegrin saw a man walking his snail.
-Oh, what a nice snail you have! I had one, but it run away from me!
8. Montenegrin yelling calling his wife:
-Skvoooo, skvoooo!
-What is it already?
-Draw me chess table on my back!
-Why is that?
-Just draw it!
And she did..
-There it is.
-Ok. Now scratch my B4!
9. Ten Montenegrins’ commandments:
1. A man was born tired, and lives to rest.
2. Kiss your bed like you kiss yourself.
3. Rest at day that you can sleep at night.
4. Do not work-working kills.
5. If you see somebody resting-do help.
6. Work less than you can, and the much you can, pass to somebody else.
7. The salvation is in tree shades-nobody has ever died of resting.
8. Working brings illness, do not die young.
9. If you ever feel an urge to work: sit and wait, you will see it will pass.
10. When see people eating and drinking-approach and help, when see them working-move away to give them space.
I didn't get the first joke, also the joke about chess table I have already heard, I doubt if its origin is montenegrian
ReplyDeleteHe asked her what she drinks, she tought he is offering :)
ReplyDeleteMontenegrins are no dummies to hell everyone else
ReplyDelete